I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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This is an anti- joke

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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p

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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