A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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No it doesnt..

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops