What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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No it doesnt..

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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