What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a black man walks out of popeyes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops