Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Knock Knock Who's There Not you... What? *Pulls out finger gun* *Screams BOOM!*

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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I literally died laughing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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