i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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What's worse than this That :(

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops