Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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hi

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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hi jonny

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops