There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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"Knock knock" Come in!

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How do you have gay sex? I don't know ask Jordan Braun

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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What's worse then the holocaust? Stepping on a lego.

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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