To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

thumb_up thumb_down -9

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It is true that Trump will make America great again.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ms Leong Sux

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops