Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Women's rights

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops