Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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here's a joke... the american education society

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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