Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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