How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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breasts

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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