How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What did John name his dog? Doggy

what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

What's brown and sticky A stick

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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