What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

a man was shot.... he died

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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