A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what's inflation? a hollow cost.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the black man die? He was shot

thumb_up thumb_down -29

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops