Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

the sky is green no it is not

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Guess what? I like trains.

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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