- Anti Joke

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOL Passed Out Photos Roulette Reactions Search Engine Suggestions Shit Brix What The Face Check out our iPhone app! Twitter Rss Popular Newest Random Write Your Own! . Anti Joke logo . Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleSwitch to visual puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Wtface-com-857e5e What The Face Adfailure-com-48cdc7 Ad Failure Im_disappoint I AM DISAPPOINT A-day-at-the-mall-94246 Shit Brix Stallbangs-doesn-t-enjoy-hanging-out-with-barry-387fac Scumbag Steve 1222625996122_129 DIY Fail Quotes From Other Sites “Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?.” via: Anti-Pickup Line “Buying this car for its dynamic abilities, is like buying a porn film for its plot..” via: Clarksonisms “earphones for the deaf ?.” via: Pointless Inventions “The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip..” via: Pointless Super Powers “I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka..” via: Things You Think Only You Do “Do you honestly think you're fucking funny, fucking with my friends? Seriously, you're a fucking ugly little cunt mate, and if I ever see you....” via: ethugtxt .. available on the app store! Anti-Pickup Line Clarksonisms Pointless Inventions Pointless Super Powers Things You Think Only You Do Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer

Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Jesus Christ

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops