What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A drunk guy walks into a car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

womans having rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Seriosly. too much sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops