an american walks out of a strip club.

A blind man walks into a library.

Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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