1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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I wrote a funny joke.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops