- Anti Joke

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

An Irishman walked out of a bar

Why Did the throw up He was sick

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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