Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops