A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +33

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What has two legs? Half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +33

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops