Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

Ring Ring Hello? Click

Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

penis. nuff said.

i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

What does a frog in a blender sound like? *WWWRRRRRRRBFFFFZZZZZCHWEEERRRRRR*

How did Chris die? Bush-fire

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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