A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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The Oakland Raiders

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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