What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

thumb_up thumb_down -1

At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Frontbut-

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops