What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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