Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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Roses are flowers.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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