Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Q: What's one thing that 5 out of 6 people always agree on? A: Gang Rape

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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