How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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www.hurr-durr.com

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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