Guess what? I like trains.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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How did the Muslim pilot die? He had a fatal heart attack while flying over the Atlantic and as a result the 300 passengers died by drowning.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops