whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die? Madelyns head

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops