what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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