Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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why did the girl stop laughing? there was nothing to laugh about.

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops