When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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The global news

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops