Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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Why did the pig cross the ocean? So he could be eaten by Americans.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops