What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Penis

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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