Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Why did the man stop playing his computer game? The SWAT busted down his door and quickly pinned him down and arrested him for the murder of 7 families, he was charged for life in prison.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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chirs

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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69

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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