How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops