Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Title IX

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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I was watching Fox news.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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