Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Knock Knock Who's There Al Qaeda

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops