I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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I'm Polish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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