An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Charlie Sheen

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops