There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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Knock Know! Come in!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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