Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Tall asians

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops