did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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