A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops