What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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What's just not right? Left

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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