What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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So I'm balls deep in this 9 year old...

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops