What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Kony 2012 - Uganda Be Kidding Me

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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Click here to end the world.

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops