Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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