Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops